FICLET: Ikioi Torture and Admiration for Jenn the Ice Raptoress

Disclaimer:  I don't own Ranma and Ryoga, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Ikioi belongs to Jenn the Ice Raptoress.

If I posted this, then Jenn has already read it and said it's okay for me to do that.

"Damn!"  Ranma fretted. "How am I going to defeat Ikioi?"

"We'll help!" chorused the list. "Yeah!"  "Use our combined power as ficwriters-"   ". . .and kick her ass!"

"All right,"  Ranma agreed, nodding with a new glint of deadly determination in his eyes, "Let's do this."

A full-blown dramatic scene sprang into existence, Ranma and Ikioi facing off as Ryoga cheered Ranma (surreptitiously) from a safe distance.  No one knew better than Ryoga the awesome might of a list bent on wreaking havoc.

Ranma began to glow with power and righteous rage.  "Ryoga,"  he cried, his voice rising above the hum of the energy surrounding him and the inspirational music swelling with the build of the scene, "is MY sick puppy!"

"FIND YOUR OWN!!!"  With that battle cry, Ranma channeled the full wrath of the List at Ikioi.

As the dust cleared, Ranma hauled the broken, cinder-encrusted girl to her feet, and the List pronounced  her sentence.  "Ikioi, for your crimes you are doomed to star forever in badly written yuri lemons authored by horny,
anatomically ignorant, sub-literate teenage boys."  Her scream of anguish faded as she winked from the scene and into the realm of Hell Fiction.  Ranma shuddered with the sympathy reserved for a despised enemy suffering a fate he
knew from personal experience to be indescribably hideous.  "Harsh,"  he muttered. 

Ryoga threw his arms around Ranma's neck and smothered the pigtailed boy in grateful kisses, finally pausing to ask timidly,
"That's not the *only* reason you love me, is it?"

"Of. . .of course not. . ." Ranma hedged.  He thought he'd already had his share of being put on the spot.  "You're really cute, and. . .and. . .ummmm. . .insatiable, yeah, that's good too. . ."  But his worry was needless, since he had already lost his audience as Ryoga was reminded of something.

"P. . .pu. . .puppy. . ." he whimpered.  "Shirokuro. . .!" he wailed, tears fountaining from his eyes.

With an audible pop, Jenn appeared to comfort him.  "There, there, Ryoga.  It's all right.  You didn't think I'd really let anything happen to them, did you?  That was just a sure way to make the listmembers shriek for Ikioi's blood, and generally gnash their teeth."  She grinned cheerfully as Ryoga's sobs quieted and his eyes grew huge and shiny with adoration. 

"You. . .you're torturing the List?" he sniffed wonderingly.  Jenn nodded happily, prompting the Lost Boy to glomp her.  "My Hero!"  he cried as she began to fall over.  "Hey!" Ranma protested.  "I did all the  work. . ." but he went completely unnoticed.  Instead of responding, Ryoga released Jenn and, as her color began slowly returning  to normal, turned triumphantly to address the List at Large.

"Now you know how it feels!"  he gloated.  To his apprehension, Sowelu appeared as well, one finger raised thoughtfully to the corner of her mouth, head tilted to one side as she smiled dreamily.  "I'm enjoying it. . ."she remarked.  Her gaze cleared as she turned it appraisingly on Ryoga, whose nervousness was increasing exponentially by the second.  The gleam it
acquired made him gulp.  "You will too, Ryo-chan," she continued in what was apparently *supposed* to be a reassurance.  "I promise!  I think it may be time to start working on that 'Non-consensual?' series again."

Uncertain whether to weep with terror or joy, Ryoga settled for simply weeping in a non-committal, general fashion, while Ranma grinned from ear to ear.  "All right!"  he yelled.  Sowelu had noticed that SidheWolf was
glomping Jenn and decided to make it a group effort. 

"waaaaaaaaaaaaah!<"

"gonna get la-aid, gonna get la-aid. . ."

"Jenn-sama!!" (*nuzzle* *squoosh*)

"air. . .need. . .air. . ."

LIST:  Okay, now that that's over. . . (members begin sifting through their mail in search of Ikioi part 7)

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