It's in His Kiss - Part Two

Being essentially smart boys who valued their lives, Ranma and Ryoga decided not to bother Akane with this right away, even though she was the closest target. The problem was that she was already in a foul mood, and neither wished to risk her further wrath. Letting her cool down before Ranma tried to plant a kiss on her was probably a very good, very safe idea. So, the two boys basically tiptoed out of the house and quickly headed in the direction of the Cat Café. Shampoo was the next closest iinazuke, and since they hadn’t eaten lunch, stopping in to get food seemed like a natural and unsuspicious ploy.

The restaurant was fairly busy, filled with the usual variety of lunchtime customers, but Shampoo still took a moment to smile dazzlingly at them when they came in. Or rather, she smiled at Ranma. Ryoga was pretty much beneath her notice, and that suited him just fine. Ever since nearly being poisoned, he’d been very wary around the Amazon girl.

"Nihao Airen!" Shampoo called brightly, managing to wave even while balancing multiple bowls of steamy ramen. "Find table, Shampoo be right there!"

"Okay Shampoo," Ranma replied with a flirting smile and a wink. He steered Ryoga towards a back table where they settled in to wait for her. Ryoga immediately took to fidgeting with a napkin, quickly reducing it to shreds, while Ranma contemplated the best way to go about this. He watched Shampoo weave her way between the tables, her amethyst eyes sparkling brightly, hips swaying invitingly. He had to admit, of all the girls, Shampoo was definitely the cutest.

"Yeah," Ranma began, continuing his train of thought out loud. "She’s the cutest." He started to list all of the Amazon girl’s pros, ignoring the fact that Ryoga wasn’t really interested in listening.

"I like her nose, the way it turns up kinda pert-like, you know? And I’ve always liked the way she dresses, in all those little Chinese outfits. Very good fashion sense. And I’d hafta say that she’s probably the best martial artist out of all of my interests. I mean, Ukyo’s good, but if it came right down to it, I think Shampoo could take her. Have ya ever watched how she moves when she’s fighting?"

"No," Ryoga said pointedly. He rested his chin in his hand. "You forgot to mention that she’s manipulative, devious, and willing to do anything or go through anybody to get what she wants."

"That’s called persistence, and properly channeled it would be a point in her favor. We’re trying to look at everything in a positive light here, Ryoga."

"That’s called delusion, Ranma," the bandanna clad boy replied sardonically.

Shampoo finally made it over, a large-eyed brilliant smile on her face just for Ranma. The little bells adorning her forelocks jingled merrily as she bounced. "Ranma! Am free from work tonight. You date with Shampoo?"

Rather than his usual protest, Ranma placed one hand behind his head and beamed up at her. "Maybe."

Shampoo squealed happily, so delighted by the idea that she didn’t stop to wonder what her chosen man might be up to, nor did she notice the sweatdrop that formed on Ryoga’s head or the scowl on his face. "Aiyah!" she exclaimed. "Is good! Now, what Airen and Pig-Boy want to order?"

"I really wish you wouldn’t call me that," Ryoga growled lowly.

"A double round of the usual, for both of us. Okay, sweetheart?" Ranma smirked handsomely, leaning forward so that she would be sure to see the coy sparkling of his eyes.

Shampoo looked ready to melt right where she stood. Ranma had never exactly returned her flirtations before, and at that moment she couldn’t have been more surprised if someone told her that the world was about to stop revolving. "Okay, Ranma," she replied, sounding just a bit breathless. "And is on house."

"Thanks," Ranma purred.

Suddenly seeming uncharacteristically flustered, Shampoo dashed off to place the order with Cologne in the kitchen and tend to her other customers, several of whom were sending glaring daggers in Ranma’s direction for his monopolization of the cute waitress.

Ranma settled back into his chair, looking pleased with himself.

"Sooo . . . " Ryoga began, pressing his fingers against his temple. "Let me get this straight . . . you actually -want- to die?"

Ranma blinked blankly a few times. "Huh?"

"Ranma, you idiot. If you play around with Shampoo like this now, just what do you think she’s going to do to you if you decide she’s not the one?"

Ranma sweat-dropped hugely, as a whole myriad of unpleasant possibilities jumped into his head. "Oh crap," he decided. "I guess I wasn’t thinking."

"Hardly surprising."

"Maybe I’d better tone it down a few notches," Ranma frowned, watching Shampoo move through the restaurant.

"When she comes for your blood, I am not going to help defend you. In fact, I may even point and laugh, because it will be exactly what you deserve, Ranma." Having completely destroyed his own napkin, and needing something to occupy his fingers, Ryoga started on Ranma’s napkin.

Ranma winced. "That’s harsh, P-Chan."

When Shampoo came back with their order, she seemed a little more subdued, now having had the time to think about what had happened. Sliding the various bowls of ramen off her arms and onto the table, she gave Ranma a quizzical look. "Ranma," she began. "You eat anything strange today?"

"No," he told her, digging into the food almost before it had hit the table.

"Hmm," Shampoo mused. "See other iinazuke today?"

He paused, noodles hanging out of his mouth. "Just Akane. Why do you ask?"

"Shampoo just wonder why Ranma act so . . . friendly with Shampoo. Maybe under influence of something that backfire, yes?"

Ryoga looked up.

Sucking the remaining noodles in and swallowing them, Ranma blinked at the Amazon waitress for a moment, then smiled again, seeing his opportunity present itself. He reached out, took her hand, and stood, clearly startling the girl. She put a hand to her chest and leaned back away from him, a little uncertain. He was acting very strange, and she prepared herself to pound him into the ground if she had to.

"I’m not under the influence of anything, Shampoo. I just couldn’t help but notice how exceptionally pretty you are today, that’s all. Why, I was just telling Ryoga how cute I think you are, wasn’t I Ryoga?"

The Lost Boy jumped at his name, eyes widening. "Y - yes . . . " He gritted his teeth, every nerve standing at attention, bracing for the worst. -This- was toning it down? Surely Shampoo was too smart for fall for a line of bull like that?

Surprisingly, Shampoo blushed, though she didn’t quite let her guard down. "Aiyah . . . " she breathed. "Ranma . . . Ranma really think Shampoo cute?"

"Sure do," Ranma nodded, his eyes arching up in the middle with his smile. It wasn’t a lie, he told himself, he really did think she was cute, and he especially liked how she could manage to come off as both strong and vulnerable at the same time. It was a very attractive combination. He stepped in a little more, using her hand to pull her closer. "And for being so cute, I think you deserve a reward."

Holding her gaze with his twinkling eyes, in much the same way a snake stares its prey into paralysis, Ranma leaned in closely. Though Shampoo drew back a bit, she didn’t seem too likely to protest, so he went ahead and took the plunge. He pressed his lips against hers. Simultaneously, they closed their eyes, and after a moment’s hesitation, Shampoo trilled happily and threw her arms around Ranma’s neck.

The entire restaurant watched in silent stupefaction as the two young people mouth wrestled. Ryoga in particular seemed taken aback. He wiggled nervously in his chair, eyes locked on the kissing couple, wringing the tablecloth in his hands.

Ranma had his arms around Shampoo as well, one wrapped snugly around her trim waist while the other hand held the back of her head, fingers tangled in her shimmering violet hair. They moved well together, just as they did when sparring, each countering the moves of the other’s tongue with assured ease while they both got a good full taste of their partner.

Wondering what all the silence was for, Cologne peeked out of the kitchen just in time to see Shampoo press herself as close as possible to Ranma, hiking her leg up onto his hip.

"Oh my . . . Son-in-Law . . . " the old woman whispered in shock.

The only other sound that could be heard in the restaurant was that of a certain tablecloth being torn to shreds.

When Ranma and Shampoo broke for air, they were both looking rather flushed. Oblivious to their enthralled audience, they stared at each other for a long moment.

"Aiyah . . . " Shampoo exhaled.

"Wow . . . " Ranma agreed.

The burl end of Cologne’s gnarled hopping stick broke the moment as it slammed down onto Ranma’s head from behind. Shampoo jumped back and Ryoga sprang up, startled, as all of Ranma’s hair stood on end, his eyes got frighteningly large, and a strange "Hhhhhhrrrrrrr" sound came from his throat.

"Just what is going on here?" Cologne demanded, glaring at Ranma. "Son-in-Law, explain yourself!"

"Errrrk . . . " Ranma replied as he sank to the floor.

"Great Grandmother!" Shampoo beamed, tucking her fists under her chin, eyes forming arches. "Ranma think Shampoo cute!"

Ryoga slunk forward cautiously, reaching down to grab the back of Ranma’s shirt. When the two women noticed, both fixing suspicious looks on him, the Lost Boy tensed and started to laugh nervously.

"Ah ha ha!" he wheezed, tightening his fingers into the material of Ranma’s shirt. "Excuse us!" With that, he slung Ranma up onto his shoulder and made a mad dash for the nearest available doorway.

Shampoo and Cologne blinked after him as he destroyed the door by going through it, rather than opening it properly.

"Great Grandmother," Shampoo frowned pertly. "Why Pig-Boy take Ranma into back storage rooms?"

Cologne sighed in that heavy tired way that old women often do. "I wonder what kind of game Son-in-Law is playing?"

It took a few minutes for Ryoga to realize that he was deep in the bowels of the building, rather than out on the street like he’d hoped to be. By that time, Ranma had recovered his senses. However, he let Ryoga continue to carry him for a few minutes before letting him know that he was awake, chuckling to himself while the aptly nicknamed Lost Boy wandered from room to room, trying to find a back door.

When Ryoga reached the screaming-in-frustration point, Ranma patted his back, taking a brief moment for himself to appreciate the boy’s nice tight butt, which he had a rather close view of. "Take the next left," he directed. "And be careful with me, I’m delicate."

Predicably, Ryoga proceeded to chuck him into a wall. "You can walk just fine on your own, Saotome!"

Ranma sat up dizzily, rubbing his twice-bashed head. All right, he could admit that he’d deserved that one. As soon as he could see straight again, he got to his feet and dusted himself off. Looking up, he found Ryoga glaring at him, fixed firmly into his typical arms-crossed position.

"Well?" the bandanna’ed youth asked sharply.

"Well what?"

"Well, based on your reaction, I’d have to guess that Shampoo is the one after all, huh?" Ryoga didn’t look too pleased about that conclusion.

Ranma’s eyes lit up as he recalled the kiss he’d just shared. "Boy, that -was- incredible! You would not believe how soft her lips are! And her tongue! Its really strong, I wouldn’t have guessed that in a million years. She’s very dominant. And she tasted just like - - "

"I don’t really care what she tasted like!" Ryoga interrupted, resisting the urge to put his hands over his ears. "Was she the one, or what?!"

"She’s only the first one I’ve kissed, Ryoga! I can’t decide that yet. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. C’mon, let’s go! We got plenty more people to molest today!" Ranma headed in the direction of the back door eagerly.

"What do you mean ‘we’?" Ryoga grumbled, his eyes narrowing down into annoyed little slits, his mouth a dot once again, as he followed Ranma.

The door was easily located. Just as Ranma was reaching for the knob, however, it was opened from the other side and the pig tailed boy found himself nearly walking right into Mousse, who was coming in with a load of supplies he’d been sent to purchase.

All three young men came to a screeching halt, various expressions of start and surprise on their faces. Mousse was the first to recover, shifting the box of groceries into the support of his left arm and adjusting his glasses with his right hand. He peered at them.

"Ranma? Ryoga? What are you two doing here?" he asked with suspicion.

Ranma recovered next, a grin flashing across his face. He jumped forward, grabbing Mousse by the front of his long robe, and hauled him in through the door. Startled, the spectacled Chinese boy dropped the box. Before he could fully react however, Ranma had spun him, pushed him roughly against a wall, and pressed close to him, attacking his mouth with a kiss.

Ryoga just about had a heart attack. He scrambled backwards, eyes huge, with a "Hhhhyyyiiiiiiii!" of shock and disbelief.

Even as he was kissing the long haired boy, Ranma was expecting to be slammed at any moment, as he doubted that Mousse was going to take too kindly to being assaulted in this particular manner. He made the most of it while the Amazon was still off-guard, going deep quickly, forcing his tongue into Mousse’s resisting mouth and smooshing himself as flat against his strong chest as he could.

At first, Mousse was too floored to do anything except stand there while Ranma invaded his mouth. But it wasn’t too long before he realized what was happening, and a fearsome battle aura started to build around him. His entire body began to shake with barely contained anger. Sensing that he had over-stayed his welcome, Ranma quickly disengaged his mouth and beat a hasty retreat away from the Chinese boy.

"Ranma!" Mousse bellowed indignantly. "You pervert! How dare you?!" He moved forward to attack, but fumbled for a moment, unable to decide which of his hidden weapons was nasty enough to punish Ranma for what he had just done.

Ranma took advantage of the hesitation. He rushed over, grabbed the stunned Lost Boy and literally threw him out the door. Wrapping his hand around the knob, he prepared to shut it after himself, but simply couldn’t resist one last barb at the irrate Mousse.

"Thanks Mousse! That was great! I’ll let you know where you come out in the final placings, okay?!"

Laughing gleefully, Ranma quickly slammed the door shut, ducking instinctively as the sound of many chains and weapons slamming into the other side was heard. Several wicked-looking blades of various shapes and sizes splintered through the wood violently.

"Get your bacon in gear, P-Chan!" Ranma yelled at Ryoga, grinning madly as he made a run for it.

Ryoga stared at the fractured door for a second longer, hearing Mousse’s vengeful shout of "RANMA!" as the weapons seemed to yank themselves out of the wood and return to their master. Knowing that it would undoubtedly be extremely hazardous to his health to stick around, Ryoga clambered to his feet and chased after Ranma as the pig tailed boy took to the rooftops.

He caught up to Ranma several minutes later, and the two young men ran side by side.

"You’re gonna get us killed, Ranma!" Ryoga snarled.

"Have you ever noticed what kissable lips Mousse has?!" Ranma yelled back, still grinning and looking rather wild as the running caused his hair to tousle and his pig tail to flutter out behind him.

"I don’t care!" Ryoga roared, giving into the urge to attack the other young man. He jumped up, launching himself at Ranma feet first, intending to kick him off the roof. Ranma saw him coming however, and dodged, grabbing Ryoga’s extended leg and tucking himself into a roll, bringing the Lost Boy with him.

They tumbled across the roof together, then over the edge, landing predictably in someone’s decorative koi pond with a mighty splash.

P-Chan bwee’d angrily as he dragged himself out of the water, followed closely by Ranma in girl-form. Still giggling to herself, she fished his clothes out of the pond, knowing that the boy would appreciate it later. "C’mon Ryoga! Loosen up a little, will ya?"

P-Chan glared at her, then shook himself, scattering water everywhere. Even though she was already nicely soaked, Ranma eeked good-naturedly and held up her hand to block the spray.

Then they both looked up to find the owners of the koi pond gathered on their back porch, staring in surprise and confusion at the girl and pig who had invaded their yard. Ranma and P-Chan both froze, sweat-dropped, and the red-head quickly scooped the piglet into her arms, laughing nervously, an attractive blush appearing over the bridge of her nose.

"Ha ha! Sorry about the intrusion, folks," she waved stiffly. "As you were." With that, she jumped to the wall surrounding the yard and back onto the rooftops.

"Bwee - eee - oiii - iiii?!" P-Chan’s squeal was half-question, half-protest as he was jostled around in Ranma’s arms while she ran and jumped.

Ranma took a moment to muse over how she seemed to instinctively understand P-Chan’s noises, even though most of the time she preferred to pretend that she didn’t, mostly to irritate Ryoga, of course. "I can’t un - der - stand you!" she sing-songed, breaking into another grin.

P-Chan growled and lightly nipped her arm.

"Ouch! Okay already! Geeze, I hope you’re not rabid. We’re heading for the next target, all right? And my girl-form is precisely what I need for this one."

The piglet groaned, covering his face with a hoof.

"That’s right!" Ranma veered onto a new course. "Castle Kuno, here we come!