It's in His Kiss - Part Five

It occurred to Ranma that Ryoga was acting a little strange, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what seemed odd. The bandanna’d boy was always rather moody and surly, so it wasn’t that. And he’d never cared to be man-handled, so the fact that he seemed rather put-off whenever Ranma touched him wasn’t completely unusual either. It wasn’t something obvious, and Ranma realized that perhaps that in itself was the problem. Normally whenever Ryoga was angry about something, he was very vocal and physical about it.

"Haven’t you learned to skate yet?" Now damp from a quick change in the restroom, Ranma leaned down to lace up her skates, directing her question at Ryoga. The rather sullen boy had commandeered one of the tables that lined the rink near the food court and was now refusing to move.

"Yeah right, Ranma," he frowned, leaning against his elbow. "When do I ever have time for things like that?"

"Well, maybe if you weren’t always getting lost . . . " Ranma glanced up, expecting her comment to evoke a response and not getting anything beyond a rather tired sigh. That bothered her a great deal, and she wondered if perhaps his apathy was a lingering effect of whatever had caused him to pass out earlier. Yes, that seemed like a logical explanation, and Ranma was pleased enough to come to a satisfactory answer so that she could put the matter out of her head.

She stood up, wobbling a bit on her skate blades, but gaining balance quickly enough. Scanning the various skaters that were already on the ice, she quickly spotted Mikado Sanzenin talking with a group of girls at the far end of the rink.

"There he is," she smiled in a rather calculating manner, large eyes twinkling. She glanced back at Ryoga and winked. "This’ll be smooth."

"Whatever," Ryoga frowned, looking uncomfortable as Ranma set her blades on the ice and carefully skated into the rink. She still wasn’t terribly sure on her feet, and Ryoga allowed himself a small spiteful smile as she faltered and was forced to grab the railing to prevent landing on her rear.

~ Stupid Ranma, ~ Ryoga thought, sounding grouchy even in his mental dialog. ~ This whole thing is a waste of time and I wish I’d never suggested it. It’s gonna bring nothing but trouble once everyone realizes what he’s up to, and if thinks I’m gonna help save his ass, he’s got another thing coming.~

Ryoga lost sight of Ranma as a group of skaters went by. Sighing heavily once again, he looked down at the surface of the table and used a finger to trace the fake marble pattern of the formica.

~ I don’t even know why I’m here. I should just leave except that my stuff is still at the Tendo’s and I don’t think I could find my way back without Ranma. Damn it all. You know, even if he decides Sanzenin is the one, what makes him think that Mikado is gonna be interested in him once he finds out that Ranma’s really a boy? Ranma’ll be lucky if Mikado doesn’t kill him. He really needs someone who knows about the curse and doesn’t care. Like Akane, Ukyo, or Shampoo, or . . . ~

Ryoga glanced up at a shadow fell over the table, obscuring the holes he had unconsciously poked into the surface with his finger. His serious dark eyes met the smiling pale blue ones of a young girl who was leaning on the railing, having skated up only a moment ago.

"Hello Charlotte!" Azusa Shiratori beamed. Her dark blonde hair shimmered under the bright lights of the rink, and she looked bright and perky in her pink and lavender work-out outfit.

Ryoga groaned and covered his face with a hand. "Shiratori-san, for the last time, I am -not- your Charlotte."

"Azusa knows her Charlotte," the girl shrugged, looking rather unconcerned as she came around the railing and stepped off the ice. Without asking if he cared for company, she took the seat across from him, smiling the entire time. "Azusa is glad to see you again."

"Shouldn’t you and Sanzenin-san be practicing?" Ryoga asked hopefully, praying that she wouldn’t stick around for long.

"Azusa always has to give Miki time for carousing before we can get down to practicing," she replied with another shrug. She leaned across the table, eying him speculatively. "How do you change into Azusa’s little Charlotte, anyway?"

"I don’t," Ryoga insisted, shifting his attention away from her and out onto the rink. Mikado was still delighting the ladies at the far end of the rink, and there was no sign of Ranma. The pig tailed martial artist was probably waiting until the skater was alone before making her move. Ryoga frowned heavily. It was too bad that she was in her female form, because there was no way that Mikado would let male Ranma plant a kiss on him. That very idea was laughable, and Ryoga wondered again what Ranma thought he was gonna do if he decided Mikado was ‘the one’? The Lost Boy didn’t imagine that the skater would be very receptive to the idea of Ranma being a boy.

"Azusa know!" Azusa chirped, breaking into Ryoga’s moody thoughts. "It must be like in fairy tales, right? If Azusa kiss you, then you’ll turn into Charlotte!"

"What?!" Ryoga blinked rapidly as he suddenly found the girl in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck. He very nearly passed out from her proximity, but managed to keep a hold on his senses. Eyes wide and heart beating hard, he tied to disengage her. "No! Shiritori-san! I am not your damn - - "

She cut his words short by leaning in and planting a sweet innocent kiss on his cheek. Ryoga yiii’d and froze, every nerve singing a very uncomfortable song, and face threatening to discover new shades of red, having already used up most of the usual hues.

Azusa frowned pertly as she drew back. "You didn’t change," she said accusingly.

Ryoga was too busy hyperventilating to give her a coherent answer.

The pretty little skater sighed dramatically, but didn’t seem inclined to move out of his lap, as she tried to think of another way to change him into the little pig she’d decided was hers. She looked down thoughtfully, then noticed the holes in the table. Azusa blinked for a moment at the pattern, tipped her head questioningly, and looked back at Ryoga, who was still in shock. "Charlotte? Did you punch Ranma’s name into the table?"

"Huh?" Ryoga snapped out of his daze and looked down at the vandalized surface. Sure enough, the holes he’d randomly poked formed the characters of Ranma’s name. The Lost Boy jumped to his feet with a yelp, upsetting Azusa, who nimbly hopped back from his sudden outburst.

"Agh!" Ryoga yelled, attracting the attention of several people at other tables. "I can’t believe that I did that! What is wrong with me?!" Furious, he brought his fist down, breaking the poor abused table in half, and thereby destroying what he had done.

Azusa seemed strangely unaffected by his tantrum. "Charlotte is having a bad day?" she asked lightly.

"A very bad day," Ryoga agreed with a groan, sinking back into his chair. What the heck was wrong with him? Why was he getting so worked up about this? So what if Ranma wanted to run around Nerima planting kisses on every damn person he met? That wasn’t any of Ryoga’s concern. So why was it bothering him so much?

Damn Ranma anyway! This whole day had been one ordeal after another for Ryoga, and it was all Ranma fault! The Lost Boy decided that the only way to restore some normalcy to his life and thoughts was to extract some sort of payback, but how? He’d been trying to years to beat his friend in martial arts, and had failed miserably at that, and he certainly couldn’t compete with Ranma in any other way. So, what could he do? What sort of revenge would be fitting for the emotional roller coaster Ryoga had been riding all day?

He looked up, his gaze falling on Mikado, who was still chatting with a group of adoring females. An sudden idea hit him out of nowhere, lighting him up with sheer pleasure and anticipation. Letting a rather vicious smile spread over his face, Ryoga suddenly felt much better than he had since ingesting Kodachi’s toxic stew. Oh yes! This would be absolutely perfect, absolutely delicious.

The only question was - how? How to pull it off?

"Azusa thinks Charlotte is going to have to pay for this table," Azusa mused behind him, picking up a piece of the broken furniture in question and poking her finger into one of the holes Ryoga had punched.

The Lost Boy whirled and grabbed her by the arms, startling her enough that she dropped what she was holding. "Shiratori-san!" he barked. "I need a favor! Please!" He bowed his head with his request.

"Favor? Why would Azusa do you a favor?" She pursed her lips indignantly. "You’re always very rude towards Azusa."

Ryoga closed his eyes briefly. "Please. If you help me with this . . . " he hesitated for moment. He hated having to shame and reveal himself in this manner, but knew that this would ultimately be worth the price he was going to pay. " . . . I’ll show you how I turn into Charlotte."

She beamed brightly, mood changing with astonishing swiftness, hopping a bit on the blades of her skates. "You will?!"

"Yes," he raised his eyes to meet hers. "But, please. You can’t tell anyone else, all right?"

There was sadness in those dark brown depths that touched Azusa’s heart. She calmed herself and gave him a warm reassuring smile, patting his arm sweetly. "Azusa won’t tell anyone, Charlotte. What do you want Azusa to do?"

********************************

Ranma narrowed her eyes as she once again skated past where Mikado stood with a gaggle of teen-aged girls. The young skater was in fine form today, looking handsome in a dark blue shirt and black pants, loose enough for practicing in, but still hanging on his well developed body nicely. He smiled engagingly at the giggling girls, but his eyes remained rather distant and cool, and he seemed far more interested in occasionally arranging his thick bangs than in whatever the young women had to say to him.

The pig tailed girl inwardly seethed and wished they’d go away.

While she waited, she skated in a rather wobbly manner past where she’d left Ryoga, and was vaguely annoyed to see that Azusa had joined the Lost Boy. For some reason, they’d moved over to a new table and now seemed to be deep in conversation. Ryoga had a rare smile on his face, and the little girl looked to be hanging on his every word. Ranma had to wonder what the heck they could possibly be talking about, considering that Azusa was only interested in Ryoga because he was a pig, and Ryoga was always supremely uncomfortable around the sugar-coated skater.

Ranma was tempted to go over and find out what was up, but frowned to herself, trying to resist the urge. It really didn’t matter to her that Ryoga was sitting and talking with a girl, but it did bother her that he was no longer paying attention to her and was likely to miss the moment she kissed Mikado. Why this annoyed her, Ranma really wasn’t interested in analyzing.

She was about to go over and find out what was going on, when she noticed the girls skate away from Mikado, finally leaving him to practice. Forget Ryoga, this was the chance she had been waiting for. Mikado essentially had the far end of the rink to himself. Chuckling, Ranma skated into a good position by the railing, judged the distance carefully, and pushed herself off backwards.

This sent her careening rather uncontrollably in Mikado’s direction. Flailing her arms wildly, Ranma yelped and skidded right into the handsome young skater from behind. Though he easily maintained his stance, she tumbled to the ice, landing in a somewhat un-lady-like sprawl.

Mikado glanced down to see who had bumped into him and his glacier eyes widened in surprise. A small smile brushed over his lips as he leaned down and picked her up, setting her back on her feet but not letting go of her.

Ranma let her eyes shimmer as she stared up at him, injecting just the right amount of shock and nervousness into her expression. "Sanzenin-san!" she gasped. "I - I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to - - "

"Its all right, Pig Tailed Lovely," he assured, his voice smooth and low. "I’m rather surprised, though, that you’ve not yet learned to skate better."

Ranma blinked and blushed appropriately, casting her gaze away from him. "Well, you know how it is. I just haven’t had the time, or found someone willing to teach me."

"Look no more, my beauty," Mikado purred, kicking backwards to get them moving. He continued to hold her as if they were dancing, a hand on her waist. As they slid gracefully across the ice, other skaters parted to let them through.

"Oh no, Sanzenin-san! I wouldn’t want to interrupt your practice. Shouldn’t you be working on your routine with Azusa?" Ranma protested in a blatantly false tone.

"She can wait."

Together they moved over the ice, Mikado guiding their moves like a conductor leading an orchestra. Ranma put on a great show of stumbling over her own feet and wavering uncertainly off-balance so that he would steady her and hold her tighter, which he seemed only too willing to do. After one too many stumbles, however, he simply lifted her off the ice and carried her in his embrace as he had done the first time they skated.

Ranma’s heart was pounding hard as she stared into Mikado’s cool eyes. After having planted kisses on five other people so far, this was the one making her the most nervous, the one that caused jittery butterflies in her stomach, Perhaps it was just the memory of the mortification and anger she’d felt the last time, and the shame he’d later endured as Ryoga (of all people!) teased him about it in front of the Tendo sisters. For some reason it was the thought of Ryoga scoring off of his humiliation in that manner that had galled Ranma the most.

Damn it! Why in the heck was she thinking about dumb ol’ Ryoga when she was being held in the arms of this gorgeous young skater?!

Mikado stopped them in the center of the rink, ignoring all the other people moving around them. "Pig Tailed Girl," he began lowly. "I don’t think you came here for a skating lesson, did you?"

Ranma felt a jolt of surprise go through her entire body. "Wha - ?" she breathed, still caught in his gaze. "What do you mean?"

"C’mon now, love. I have girls trip and fall into me all the time, and they’re usually only after one thing," he smiled handsomely, if not a bit arrogantly. Ranma shivered in response. Though that sort of haughtiness was attractive on the surface, she knew how superficial it really was. Deep down, Ranma was aware that she didn’t find that sort of attitude appealing, really. If only Mikado had a softer side, one that was more vulnerable . . .

Still, Ranma was not about to pass up the opportunity for another good kiss. When Mikado leaned in, pulling her closer against his chest, Ranma was there to meet him halfway, heart pounding hard and entire body poised with a warming flush.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ranma saw movement approaching them, but with her lips so close to Mikado’s, she really didn’t have the mental capacity to give it any thought. Apparently, neither did Mikado, because he brought their lips fully together, pressing in heartily when he encountered no resistance on Ranma’s part. The pig tailed girl tasted his saltiness, which was eerily similar but startlingly different from Kuno’s, and her stomach dropped into her feet. She slipped her arms up around his neck and returned the kiss, surprising him with her intense response.

"Miki!" a strident voice called out cheerfully. "Warm-up time!!"

A sudden wave of hot water swept over them. Ranma froze in place from shock as he mentally registered this unlikely event and the implications of it hit him with the force of several shishi hokodans. At the very same time, Mikado suddenly felt himself holding far greater weight than he expected and the two boys toppled over onto the ice, the handsome young skater landing on top of Ranma.

"What the hell did you do that for, you idiot girl?!" Mikado sputtered, pushing himself up off of Ranma slightly so that he could glare at Azusa, apparently still oblivious to the fact that his kissing partner was now male. He looked about ready to reach out and strangle the little girl, who was staring at Ranma with a mixture of fascination and surprise on her face.

"Wow!" she beamed then continued in an innocent tone, "Ranma! How did you do that?"

"Ranma? What are you talking about?" Mikado squinted at her in confusion, then looked down at the pig tailed boy he had pinned. Understanding and horror slowly dawned on him as he stared blankly.

Azusa looked down at the bucket she still held in her hands. "Did Azusa do that?" she asked wonderingly, but there was a sparkle of amusement in her eyes that didn’t quite ring true with her question. "Sorry Ranma. Azusa didn’t mean to."

"What? What in the world - - ?" Mikado was stuttering. An interested crowd was now gathering, some looking speculatively at Mikado who was obviously on the verge of losing his famous cool, and some blinking in wonderment at Ranma whom they could have sworn was a girl just a moment ago.

Ranma grinned sheepishly, laughing lightly as he sat up and put a hand to the back of his neck. "Hey, Mikado. Was it good for you?"

"Ranma?! RANMA!! You’re the Pig Tailed Girl?!" Mikado was turning lots of Ryoga-esque red colors now. He pulled away in shock, confusion and disgust, which Ranma felt mildly insulted by. "How . . . how . . . ?"

Apparently the question didn’t really matter, because in the next instant Ranma was dodging a punch thrown by the irrate skater. The young man scrambled up, slipping and scraping along the ice as he tried to get his footing, frantically avoiding further assaults from Mikado, who normally had a lot more composure than this. Ranma was a bit surprised when one of his blows cracked the ice.

"Get back here you - - you - - " It seemed that Mikado was having trouble coming up with a word nasty enough to describe the pig tailed martial artist, which was fine with Ranma who was sure he’d heard them all by now. His only concern was in putting as much distance between himself and the angry skater as possible, but he was being hampered by the damn skates on his feet. Deciding to by-pass the hard way, Ranma crouched and sprang into a leap, maneuvering himself so that he would land on the railing around the rink, balanced on his skate blades.

Mikado was hot behind him, so he didn’t take the time to answer Ryoga’s confused inquiry of: "Ranma? What happened?" He simply tore past the bandanna’d boy, springing in the direction of the locker rooms, where hopefully he would be able to lose his pursuer. Mikado followed him, yelling things that would make construction workers blush concerning Ranma’s parentage, and experiencing no problem at all in running with his skates on.

Ryoga grinned, eyes sparkling. Now, that was a sight that more than made up for Kodachi’s stew.

"Charlotte," Azusa admonished, skating up to the railing beside Ryoga, along with a large group of interested on-lookers. "That was a very mean thing to do."

"I know," Ryoga nodded, pleased, then they both flinched and ducked instinctively as the sounds of metal being smashed and walls being broken came from the locker rooms. People not involved in the fight poured out, yelling frantically about Mikado Sanzenin trying to kill someone with a sink, and that someone retaliating with the door from a bathroom stall.

Azusa giggled, hands over her mouth. "Serves Miki right for chasing after girls all of the time."

Ryoga smirked. "Well, I guess I’d better go lend Ranma a hand. I need him to find the way home, after all." He turned and looked at the pretty little girl, wincing as a strange screech came from the locker rooms. "Thank you for your help, Azusa. I’m in your debt."

"Azusa know that, and will have a bucket of cold water handy next time she sees you." She smiled sweetly and leaned forward to peck his cheek with a kiss once more.

Ryoga blushed hotly and almost forgot that he was suppose to be helping Ranma. Before he could faint, however, he hurried to join the fray, only tripping over two tables and a chair in his haste to leave.

****************************************

"Okay. So maybe that was a bad idea."

Ryoga hid a smirk. "What was your first clue?"

With a groan, Ranma flopped back against the roof they were currently sitting on, wincing as that slight movement hurt unexpectedly. He didn’t remember Mikado hitting him on the back, but then, after being beaned by the heavy porcelain sink, everything seemed rather hazy. He sighed and closed his eyes against the brightness of the late afternoon sky. "Do you think everyone is gonna react like that when they realize what I’ve been doing?"

"Probably," Ryoga nodded cheerfully, glancing down at him. The pig tailed boy was covered with bruises and scrapes and looked like someone had just used him for a punching bag. Well, actually, someone just had. Ryoga’d had no idea that Mikado could be so physical. Okay, maybe a small part of him felt bad for putting Azusa up to splashing Ranma with hot water, but it was a very small part and Ryoga found it quite easy to ignore.

"Man! I am soooo dead!"

"Yep," the bandanna’d boy agreed helpfully.

"Why the heck did you let me do this?" Ranma complained.

Ryoga snorted. "Don’t go trying to blame your idiocy on me, Saotome. I just suggested the idea. You didn’t have to run out and start kissing everyone you ran into."

"I didn’t do that!" Ranma protested, propping himself up on his elbows and glaring at Ryoga rather hotly.

"Mousse?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow.

The pig tailed martial artist flopped back against the roof once again. "Okay. All right. You’re right. Damn you anyway."

Ryoga smirked again. "Can we go back to the dojo now? It’s getting close to dinnertime. Do you think Kasumi would mind if I stayed?"

"Are ya kidding?" Ranma eased himself up and sighed heavily. "Yeah, let’s head for home. I might as well finish what I started." He stood and fussily brushed the dust and grit off his pants. "And I’ll take the blows when they come. I guess it’s a small price to pay."

The Lost Boy frowned up at him. "Finish what you started?" He didn’t like the sound of that.

"Yeah. I still ain’t kissed Akane yet. I have a feeling that its gonna come down to her and Shampoo. You know, Akane comes with all that obligation and stuff, but Shampoo is just a damn good kisser." He headed across the roof, stopping at the edge to look back at Ryoga. "Are you coming?"

The nomadic martial artist felt his good mood evaporate, for some reason that he really couldn’t pinpoint, but the thought of watching Ranma kiss one more person suddenly seemed close to unbearable. The hallucination he’d experienced that afternoon returned to his mind to plague him, but he forced it away determinedly. His body felt very heavy as he dragged himself to his feet, loathe to follow Ranma any further. But his stuff was at the Tendo’s and he needed it. He was going to have to endure this for just a little while longer.

~ With any luck, Akane will plaster him with her mallet. ~

As he was turning to follow Ranma, Ryoga caught a flash out of the corner of his eye. He paused, looking out across the rooftops at something that was almost visible on the distant horizon, something that he was sure had not been there previously. The sun lay in that particular direction, however, so he couldn’t quite make out what it was. Shielding his eyes with a hand, he squinted.

"What the hell is that?" he wondered. "Some kind of neon sign? Maybe an advertisement?"

"What’s the hold up?" Ranma came back to his side.

Ryoga pointed out towards the curious object. "You see that huge sign out there? I can’t really make out what it says, cuz there’s buildings in the way, but it looks kinda like . . . something . .. no baka . . . there’s a second line but it’s almost completely behind the houses."

Ranma looked in the direction the Lost Boy indicated, but saw nothing unusual. He frowned at his friend. "I don’t see anything."

"Are you blind? It’s right there!" Ryoga gestured.

"You’re seeing things. C’mon P-Chan," Ranma grabbed him by the shirt sleeve and dragged him along, heading back to the Tendo Dojo.

________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note:  Because eventually no one is going to remember this, I must explain the whole bit at the end of this part with Ryoga spotting a large neon sign.  After I posted Part Four to the RRyaoi Mailing List, Trakal sent this:

>Trakal builds a huge neon sign that fills the entire horizon and
>flashes:

 >RANMA NO BAKA!
>RYOGA'S THE ONE!

>in brilliant easily seen and non-eye-irritating colors.

    I thought it was pretty funny, and I thought it would be even more amusing if, after Trakal went to the trouble of setting the sign up, Ranma still couldn't see it.  *heh*  Of course, Ryoga can't quite see it either.
Anyway....

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