I Enjoy Being a Girl!

Part Two

Akane woke with a yawn, the bright shine of the morning sun gleaming through the shattered remains of her window, a gentle warm breeze from outside carrying the scent of leaves and flowers in to assault her bleary senses. She was loathe to actually get up and face the day, some instinctual part of her mind knowing that there was likely to be little beyond chaos to look forward to, but with a sigh of resignation the dark haired girl forced herself to sit up anyway.

Blinking her eyes open, she stretched and focused her first sight on the neatly folded bedclothes which sat on the floor, topped with a pillow and that strange stuffed dog Ranma had been carrying around the night before. There was no sign of the red haired girl herself, however, and Akane frowned, glancing with annoyance at the clock.

It was only 7:30 . . . Ranma was up already?

Maybe it was the Apocalypse.

Akane flopped wearily back into her bed, the pillow pluffing around her head as she did. Almost wishing for something as easily dealt with as the end of the world, she glared up at the ceiling, unsure of whether she should be peeved or not. The old Ranma . . . the -male- Ranma, had never gotten up early a day in his life. Unless of course he was properly motivated to do so with a well thrown bucket of water. So what was this new, far more annoying Ranma doing up all bright and early? Especially after everyone had been up so late the night before?

The reason for that being that all members of the household had stayed awake to diligently try and sort out exactly what was going on with the resident martial artist irritant. Kasumi’s quiet opinion, and by far the most reasonable explanation offered by anyone, was that the second blow to Ranma’s head had further scrambled her personality, as she didn’t seem to recognize Ryoga as her old rival at all. In fact, when questioned about recent events, the pig tailed girl was unable to recall anyone outside the immediate family. Not Shampoo. Not Mousse. Not Ukyo. No one. Akane had been supremely pissed about that, for some reason she couldn’t quite fathom. It was almost as if Ranma was deliberately trying to forget that all the unpleasantness in her life existed, but that was a far-fetched notion, wasn’t it? One couldn’t selectively choose which things to be amnesic about, could they?

The Tendo girl's foul mood was not helped in the least by the fact that Ranma spent most of the evening giggling vapidly and blushing in Ryoga’s general direction.

Ryoga himself seemed completely bewildered and overwhelmed by Ranma’s sudden interest in him, and appeared to be almost as vexed by it as Akane was. She, in fact, had to admire how well he’d managed to keep his temper in check while his rival mooned over him. Due to the late hour, he had been invited to spend the night, and severely looked like he needed a good rest, but hostilities broke out over the sleeping arrangements. Demonstrating his usual slippery grasp of the situation, Genma was somehow trying to make Ranma’s continued femininity out to be Ryoga’s fault, and refused to share the guest room with him. The wandering martial artist was gracious enough to move out to the dojo, but that had actually only complicated matters. Akane spent much of the night listening to Ranma angst tearfully over the fact that her father didn’t like the young man she was so attracted to.

It took every ounce of self-discipline Akane possessed not to kick Ranma out the window just as she had Happosai.

Heaving a great sigh of one unreasonably put-upon, Akane reluctantly got up and shuffled her way downstairs, not bothering to dress first. It didn’t seem as if Otosan or Saotome-san were up yet, but Kasumi could always be counted on to be awake before anyone else. How her older sister managed that, Akane couldn’t even begin to guess. She made her way to the kitchen and ducked beneath the banners in the doorway, prepared to give Kasumi a customary morning greeting, but stopped and stared, the words dying on her lips.

Kasumi was indeed in the kitchen, already well into preparations for breakfast. What surprised Akane, however, was that Ranma was with her, helping with the cooking and chattering on with happy sparkling eyes about the food she was preparing, how nice the weather was, and what a delight it was to be able to cook for a potential suitor. She looked so bright and cute standing in the middle of the kitchen, wearing a frilly pastel apron and briskly whisking a bowl of egg whites and yolks, sunshine from outside glistening in through the window and falling on her exactly. Akane valiantly suppressed the urge to rush in and strangle her.

She didn’t understand it. She just did not understand it. Akane could have sworn that Ranma had returned to normal last night, right after hitting her head for the second time. The pig tailed girl had snapped at her, insulted her . . . just as Ranma usually did. Had that just been a instinctive reaction to the fall? It didn’t seem likely. The very girly girl Ranma was too polite to lash back, even if she was angry or hurt. No . . . that was definitely the old Ranma . . . so why was she now bobbing around the kitchen sharing cooking tips with Kasumi? Why was she dressed in such feminine clothes?

And why on earth had she been so infatuated with Ryoga?

"Oh," Kasumi’s smiling voice broke into Akane’s thoughts, scattering them breezily. "Good morning, imoto-chan. Did you sleep well?"

"Not really," Akane grumbled, shooting an accusing look at Ranma.

The girl flushed prettily, pausing in her task and gracing Akane with an apologetic expression. "I’m sorry I kept you awake last night, Akane-chan. I was too upset to sleep. I just can’t figure out why Otosan seems to dislike Ryoga-san so much."

Otosan instead of Oyaji? Ryoga-san? Akane felt her temper simmering again. She crossed her arms and glared hotly at Ranma, strangely pleased when the girl wilted away from the hostile expression. "Gee Ranma, I don’t know," she drawled sarcastically. "Could it be because you’re a boy, and last night you were lusting after another -boy-?"

Ranma looked as if she had been slapped. She pouted woundedly and turned her attention back to the eggs, whipping them swiftly and muttering, "I told you last night, Akane-chan. I’m a woman. The Ranma you knew is gone."

Akane began to growl, sick to death of hearing her - HIM! - say that. "Raanmaaa . . ."

"Akane," Kasumi said quietly, a rare stern look on her face. She stepped over and placed a gentle hand on her younger sister’s shoulder, which calmed Akane enough to stop growling, but not enough to erase the feverish glare. "This situation is stressful enough without you making things worse. Do you understand me, Akane?"

Akane grimaced at the chastisement, and continued complainingly. "The only thing I don’t understand is how he can still be thinking he’s a girl after I -know- that he returned to normal last night!"

The youngest of the Tendo clan could have sworn that Ranma spared her a shifty glance, but it was gone before she could actually confirm it. Still . . . she was certain it -had- been there. Oh yes . . . Ranma was hiding something, feeling guilty, and Akane suddenly had a pretty good idea what that something was. He was faking it! She stared at the smaller girl in shock, so stunned that she couldn’t even muster up any words of disgust or anger.

"Never mind that now," Kasumi continued, seeming oblivious to the reddening of Akane’s face, or the open-mouthed expression she was now leveling at Ranma. "We’ll figure it all out later. Right now, we have breakfast to make. Would you like to help, Akane? Ranma is taking care of the eggs, perhaps you can stir the miso?"

Akane did not miss the small smile of satisfaction that formed on Ranma’s lips as the red head quickly set back to her task. Having now whisked the eggs properly, she stepped over to the stove to pour the mixture into a frying pan and cook them up. Akane stared after her, glowering, then reluctantly joined her, picking up a wooden spoon to stir the bubbling soup as Kasumi had instructed.

"Ryoga-san is your friend, ne Akane-chan?" Ranma chirped brightly, turning toward the other girl with vivid shimmering eyes, even as she tended her scrambling. "Does he like scrambled eggs? Oh, I want these to be perfect for him. Do you think I should add a little onion? Or parsley? Oneechan," Ranma whirled around to face Kasumi, without giving Akane the chance to answer, or say anything for that matter. "Do we have any parsley?"

The look on her face was so open and hopeful, it was all Akane could do not to slam her over the head with the kitchen table. Damn it all! She knew that Ranma was back to normal, she -knew- it! So why was the baka acting like this? Why was he still pretending to be all soft and kind and girlish? It didn’t make sense. Hadn’t Ranma always been adamant about being 100% guy, through and through? So what in the world was he playing at now? What earthly reasons could he have to pretend he still thought he was a girl?

As she watched Ranma bounce eagerly to the cupboard that Kasumi indicated, Akane stared angrily and sincerely prayed that the pig tailed martial artist’s reasons -weren’t- what she was thinking they were. Because if they were . . .

Akane gripped the spoon so tightly that it snapped in half, startling the other two women in the kitchen.

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Ryoga stumbled down the short hall that led from the stairs to the kitchen, yawning widely and rubbing the back of his head blearily. Whether through simple miracle or divine intervention, he had managed to get all the way from the dojo to the upstairs bath that morning, getting lost only once in some small dusty enclosed spot that might have been attic crawlspace. Hoping that his good fortune would continue, he was now making an attempt to find the kitchen, and as luck would have it, he succeeded. Pushing aside the banners, he stepped in.

"Ano, Kasumi-san," he began, at first not exactly bothering to look at who was present in the room. "Do you need any help with breakfast this morning?"

He was greeted with varying looks from the three women present. Kasumi’s expression was typical of her, a pleasant sort of startled smile that seemed to cross her face whenever someone offered to help her. Akane’s intense glare completely threw poor Ryoga off his stride, however, and he wondered with bewilderment what on earth she could be so furious about. Had he done anything to make her mad? He didn’t think so, but wouldn’t have been surprised if he had. That seemed to be fairly typical of his luck.

At first he didn’t even consider the expression on Ranma-chan’s face, because he was used to ignoring the pig tailed martial artist whenever he could. But the little red head stepped closer to him, a huge shimmer in her blue blue eyes, and clasped her hands together at her chest, gazing at him with absolute adoration.

"Ohayo gozaimasu Ryoga-san!" she said cheerfully, obviously surprised and pleased to see him. "How are you this morning? Did you sleep well? Do you like scrambled eggs? I’m making some just for you! Is it okay if I add a little parsley? I want them to be perfect!"

Ryoga stared at her for a long shocked moment, then groaned softly, rubbing a hand over his face as last night’s disturbing events came back to him. Okay, apparently Ranma was still possessed by whatever strange notion it was that made him think he was a girl. He’d found it incredibly bothersome and annoying last night, but now that he’d had a good sleep and was a little more clear headed, Ryoga thought he could properly deal with this with his normal patience and understanding.

"Bugger off, Ranma," he said sharply. He stepped pointedly around the pig tailed annoyance and went to Akane, mustering up a shy smile for her. "Can I help with that miso, Akane-san?"

He didn’t see the hurt and crushed expression that Ranma followed him with, but Akane did. Her anger seemed to fade as she was faced with those huge sorrowful eyes, and for just a brief moment, Akane actually thought about feeling sorry for Ranma. But only for a moment. He -was- faking this, after all, and Akane was pleased that Ryoga hadn’t gotten himself caught up in Ranma’s female attentions the way he usually did. Of course, this situation -was- different. Normally when Ranma came onto poor Ryoga, he tried to hide his identity. Akane felt meanly glad, and perhaps a bit relieved on some level, that Ryoga wasn’t so gullible when faced with Ranma head on.

Mentally forming a wicked grin, Akane gave Ryoga a smile at least as brilliant as anything Ranma-chan could come up with, and stepped a bit to one side, offering him the spoon she was using to stir the soup with (this one wasn’t broken). "Arigato, Ryoga-kun," she purred, putting emphasis on the ‘-kun’, and trying not to giggle stupidly at the stunned look now crossing Ranma’s face. "You’re always so thoughtful. If you’d like to stir this, I’ll get Ranma that parsley she was looking for."

"O - okay . . . " Ryoga agreed readily, rather blown away by Akane’s dazzling smile. Inwardly reflecting that it was indeed good to be alive, the enamored Lost Boy took up the task of stirring the miso.

"Isn’t that nice?" Kasumi asked no one in particular. She took no notice of the glare Ranma was now giving Akane. The youngest Tendo daughter pretended not to see it either, retrieving the parsley flakes from the cupboard and handing them to the pig tailed girl with a warm friendly smile.

"Here you are, Ranma. Be careful that your eggs don’t burn."

"Eeep!" Ranma fairly jumped across the kitchen to save her neglected eggs. They were a little well-done, but not burnt, which was good, but they weren’t perfect as Ranma had hoped. She gazed at them in dismay, and snuck a look at Ryoga who was standing beside her oblivious to the disaster that had just occurred. He was still just stirring the soup, a small left-over smile on his face.

Ranma’s eyes trembled and she seemed on the verge of tears. "Gomen . . . gomen nasai, Ryoga-san," she said quietly, holding the frying pan up pointedly so that he would be sure to take notice of it. "I was hoping they would be perfect, but they’re not . . . "

Ryoga blinked at the eggs, obviously startled out of his blissful thoughts and surprised to suddenly be confronted with breakfast food. He turned a rather severe glare on Ranma. "So?" he grumbled.

"Sooo . . ." Ranma whined desperately. "I was making them for you!"

Ryoga ground his teeth together, controlling his annoyance quite nicely, thank you very much. He leveled a rather heated and hostile look at his rival, remembering just before he stepped forward to wail the tar out of the little red head that this wasn’t really Ranma’s fault. This was amnesia or something like that, right? Okay, Ryoga could deal with and accept that just fine. But, he could not deal with Ranma fluttering around him like a love-struck butterfly. This was far too reminiscent of that entire nasty koi-rod fiasco that Ryoga would just as soon forget all about.

"Look Ranma," he growled. "This is getting old already. I know you got amnesia or something and you think you’re a girl and all, but I am -not- interested in you, got it?" He dutifully ignored the large-eyed expression of dismay that Ranma presented him with. "No! You’re a guy, you baka! And I’m not into guys. And even if I was, I wouldn’t want -you-, so just knock it off right now!"

Kasumi and Akane both looked up at the outburst, the latter with a grim smile on her face. Inwardly she was waving a little flag of victory that said, "Yay Ryoga!", very -very- pleased that Ryoga wasn’t falling into Ranma’s trap once again. And of course, that was what it had to be, right? Ranma was pretending to still think he was a girl so that he could tease poor Ryoga, right? There couldn’t possibly be anything more to it, could there?

No. There couldn’t.

Ranma bit her lower lip, staring up at Ryoga, huge crystalline tears now filling her eyes. She wrung the apron she was wearing in her hands and looked the very picture of a distressed and flustered, broken hearted girl. "But . . . " she whimpered, lips quivering in time with her eyes. "But, Ryoga-san . . ."

Ryoga put down the spoon and cracked his knuckles, always a good warning sign that he was preparing to inflict some severe damage. Akane’s eyes widened, Ranma took several hasty steps backwards, and Kasumi silently mourned the possible fate of breakfast, but somehow the Lost Boy kept his anger in check. He swiftly reminded himself once again that this wasn’t Ranma’s fault, and he’d never before attacked when the pig tailed martial artist was weakened or at a disadvantage. He wouldn’t dishonor himself by doing so now.

Instead, he turned swiftly and bowed tersely to Kasumi, apologizing for having disrupted her kitchen. "Perhaps it’s best if I just go," he suggested.

The eldest Tendo daughter smiled, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. Ryoga really could be a very nice and considerate person when he tried to be. "Why don’t you have a seat in the dining room, Ryoga-kun?" she said kindly. "We’ll have breakfast ready in just a few more minutes."

"Arigato gozaimasu," he replied gratefully and darted out of the kitchen as fast as he could.

Akane turned on Ranma then, fully expecting the baka to drop the girl act now that plans for picking on Ryoga had been foiled. Instead, much to her shock, she found Ranma gazing dreamily after the Lost Boy, chewing on the hem of her apron, the sunshine once again sparkling around her in a hazy softening manner.

"Ranma!" Akane snarled furiously. "What are you doing?! He rejected you, you idiot! He saw right through you, now quit acting like a girl!"

"Oh Akane-chan!" Ranma purred, flipping her hand in a dismissive manner at the about-to-boil-over dark haired girl. "Don’t you see? He still thinks I’m a boy, just like you do, but I’m not." She sighed dramatically, eyes somehow managing to shimmer even brighter and larger than before. "He’s so passionate! So handsome! Ooooh! I’m going to marry him! I swear it!"

Ranma was so caught up in her beautiful hopeful dreams that she didn’t see Kasumi sweatdrop. Nor did she notice Akane falling over stiffly, crashing into the table as she did.

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